[ Catra exhales and looks away, unable to quite meet Jason's eyes. It's not quite like the... embarrassed, begrudgingly affectionate look she used to get. Rather, she looks... hassled. ]
... We're close. I'm close. To-- taking over. To everything I worked for. I'm second-in-command. Hordak trusts me. Relies on me. We took Salineas. We have the seas. We have all the ground territory-- everything except Brightmoon. We were about to launch our final offensive.
[ But she reins it in at the last minute. She ignores the gesture to sit down, though-- starts pacing instead, gesturing as she goes. ]
Don't say it. Don't say "I told you so." I know. I know. You weren't there! I didn't remember!
I worked so hard. I got everything I wanted. I-- I'm in charge of everything. People respect me. Or-- or they fear me, I don't know.
[ The way she says it sounds like she does know, and it's the latter. She seems like she's coming apart at the seams a little as she paces. Like she's only been holding on this long held together by a very thin thread. ]
I just thought if I finally-- if I finally did it, it wouldn't matter how crappy it was getting there. It'd make everything else worth it. I thought-- I don't know, winning would be fun. Winning is supposed to be fun! But it's-- not. It's not. Everyone hates me, and... they're right to. And it's too late to take any of it back. And I just... I don't know what to do.
[ But it's clearly more of a token complaint than a legitimate one, since she does in fact pad over to where Jason's sitting and collapse gratefully into the couch there.
She puts a hand over her wearily. It feels like a decade ago she slept on this couch when things were rough with Adora. Was it really only a month ago from Jason's perspective? ]
( an arm around her shoulders, to try and pull her in against his side. his own shoulders--loosen, go slack. relax. catra isn't a threat, there's no reason for jason to be on edge. )
Take a nap. I'm here, nothing's going to happen.
( she said she was tired. he's not going to amp her up more getting into all that bullcrap. instead, jason'll let her sleep--then they can catch up. )
( you think he is? he remembers once in his life, when bruce had held onto him when he was sick. ran fingers through his hair, helped him get to sleep. once. jason's used to powering through until his body shuts itself down. but it's a shit option.
he takes a deep breath, lets it out. raises a hand to her hair. )
[ She wants to lean into it. She does. It could be a cute moment.
If only Catra would let it be. But she jerks her head at the last second, ruining it, pulling away. ]
Don't touch my hair.
[ Shadow Weaver had done that. Had-- manipulated her through little fond touches, making Catra think she cared. ]
Why are you doing this? Why are you being all-- nice to me? I don't deserve it. You know I don't. I only ever make your life more difficult and I'm a terrible person. And I already called in my favour, so you don't owe me.
( rolling his eyes, but he lets her pull away. slouches back into the sofa without fighting her on it. she's catra, she's--scrappy, always wary because that's how she was taught. how she grew up. he understands. it's very much how jason is, too. )
You make shit decisions. You push boundaries too far. You try to rule shit by fear and expect it to stick. People don't respect fear, Catra. They fear it. But look--I get it. I've been there. And I know what it's like to feel like you've got no one. To push shit too far because you don't know what else to do. I could sit here and bitch at you for making shitty decisions, but that's not going to help. I could be mean to you, but where's that going to get us?
( nowhere. it'll push catra even further into a corner. give her nothing to hold onto. he knows better then that. )
I'm helping 'cause I care. All the rest, we can handle later.
( he's not. with catra leaning up against him, he raises his opposite (gloved, skin contact not necessary) hand to start threading fingers through her hair. pets her. it's soft, no pressure.
figures she's some kind of cat, right? generally cats like to be pet.
[ Honestly, Jason's lucky he's wearing gloves. Not because of the empathy bond, but because up close, Catra's hair looks like it hasn't been washed in a week. Gross.
Catra tenses up again when he touches her hair, but she doesn't move away this time. She just kind of sits there, still. It's the same air as a cat reluctantly permitting someone to touch, but not being very happy about it. There's no purring this time.
But if Jason keeps at it long enough, eventually, the fight does seem to go out of her, and her body does relax. ]
( when you're a sad, touch-starved gremlin of a child, sometimes it takes time. so he doesn't let up easy. she doesn't fight him. her hair is--definitely gross, ew. but honestly, he's dealt with grosser shit so it doesn't throw him off that much. instead he just keeps at it, wraps one arm around her and threads fingers through her hair with the other hand.
hums soft once she starts relaxing; an old, soft tune. )
( when she wakes up, he'll shove her into the goddamn shower with all her clothes still on. hand her loki's most expensive shampoo bottle and have her scrub that shit out. get back into the conversation of how forcing her way into crap wasn't the way to solve issues and feel better.
but she's asleep for now, so he keeps on petting her. pulls soft at any tangles he finds, keeps on humming that soft tune. )
[ Catra sleeps restfully like that for some time, her little torso rising and falling evenly with the peace of a good sleep.
But, regardless of whether Jason is still there or not, some hours later her sleep becomes restless again and she sits bolt upright with a yelp, hackles raised, claws out, panting hard. Her eyes are a bit wild. Where--? ]
( he's still there. still petting her hair idly, although as soon as she wakes up he's quickly moving his hands back and raising them up. surrender of sorts.
and when jason speaks, his voice is still light. a nice, even tone. )
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2020-09-04 05:05 am (UTC)... We're close. I'm close. To-- taking over. To everything I worked for. I'm second-in-command. Hordak trusts me. Relies on me. We took Salineas. We have the seas. We have all the ground territory-- everything except Brightmoon. We were about to launch our final offensive.
But it's all... wrong.
no subject
Date: 2020-09-04 03:14 pm (UTC)( or something similar. he doesn't--try shoving it in her face though. just leaves the kitchen, moves over to the sofa and sits down.
pats the cushion next to him with a hand. )
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Date: 2020-09-04 03:23 pm (UTC)Don't--
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Date: 2020-09-04 03:39 pm (UTC)Don't say it. Don't say "I told you so." I know. I know. You weren't there! I didn't remember!
I worked so hard. I got everything I wanted. I-- I'm in charge of everything. People respect me. Or-- or they fear me, I don't know.
[ The way she says it sounds like she does know, and it's the latter. She seems like she's coming apart at the seams a little as she paces. Like she's only been holding on this long held together by a very thin thread. ]
I just thought if I finally-- if I finally did it, it wouldn't matter how crappy it was getting there. It'd make everything else worth it. I thought-- I don't know, winning would be fun. Winning is supposed to be fun! But it's-- not. It's not. Everyone hates me, and... they're right to. And it's too late to take any of it back. And I just... I don't know what to do.
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Date: 2020-09-04 03:40 pm (UTC)doesn't argue, because that's pointless. )
Come here.
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Date: 2020-09-04 03:52 pm (UTC)Don't tell me what to do.
[ But it's clearly more of a token complaint than a legitimate one, since she does in fact pad over to where Jason's sitting and collapse gratefully into the couch there.
She puts a hand over her wearily. It feels like a decade ago she slept on this couch when things were rough with Adora. Was it really only a month ago from Jason's perspective? ]
no subject
Date: 2020-09-04 03:54 pm (UTC)Take a nap. I'm here, nothing's going to happen.
( she said she was tired. he's not going to amp her up more getting into all that bullcrap. instead, jason'll let her sleep--then they can catch up. )
no subject
Date: 2020-09-04 04:01 pm (UTC)If it were that easy, don't you think I would've done it already? I can't.
I just keep seeing all the crap I don't wanna think about in my dreams instead.
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Date: 2020-09-04 04:07 pm (UTC)he takes a deep breath, lets it out. raises a hand to her hair. )
I'll sucker punch all that crap in your dreams.
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Date: 2020-09-04 04:17 pm (UTC)If only Catra would let it be. But she jerks her head at the last second, ruining it, pulling away. ]
Don't touch my hair.
[ Shadow Weaver had done that. Had-- manipulated her through little fond touches, making Catra think she cared. ]
Why are you doing this? Why are you being all-- nice to me? I don't deserve it. You know I don't. I only ever make your life more difficult and I'm a terrible person. And I already called in my favour, so you don't owe me.
no subject
Date: 2020-09-04 04:23 pm (UTC)You make shit decisions. You push boundaries too far. You try to rule shit by fear and expect it to stick. People don't respect fear, Catra. They fear it. But look--I get it. I've been there. And I know what it's like to feel like you've got no one. To push shit too far because you don't know what else to do. I could sit here and bitch at you for making shitty decisions, but that's not going to help. I could be mean to you, but where's that going to get us?
( nowhere. it'll push catra even further into a corner. give her nothing to hold onto. he knows better then that. )
I'm helping 'cause I care. All the rest, we can handle later.
no subject
Date: 2020-09-04 04:33 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2020-09-04 04:36 pm (UTC)( easy, voice still low. he's not going to argue with her, because why bother. )
Did you still want that nap?
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Date: 2020-09-04 04:51 pm (UTC)[ She hesitates. Seems a little startled. ]
... Fine. Sure. Whatever. Yeah, I do.
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Date: 2020-09-04 04:55 pm (UTC)( they're for nefarious purposes, not for putting hissy cats to bed. )
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Date: 2020-09-05 01:51 am (UTC)[ Despite the sarcasm in her voice, she does in fact allow herself to gravitate back towards Jason on the couch again. ]
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Date: 2020-09-05 04:57 am (UTC)( leaning back to get comfortable, with an arm extending out towards catra. )
Close your eyes. Relax.
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Date: 2020-09-05 05:03 am (UTC)Finally, she reluctantly closes her eyes, though she seems no less tense. ]
... If you prank me I swear it's going to go badly for you.
[ But she doesn't sound like she really thinks he's going to do that. ]
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Date: 2020-09-05 05:06 am (UTC)figures she's some kind of cat, right? generally cats like to be pet.
and clearly catra needs a nap. )
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Date: 2020-09-05 05:16 am (UTC)Catra tenses up again when he touches her hair, but she doesn't move away this time. She just kind of sits there, still. It's the same air as a cat reluctantly permitting someone to touch, but not being very happy about it. There's no purring this time.
But if Jason keeps at it long enough, eventually, the fight does seem to go out of her, and her body does relax. ]
no subject
Date: 2020-09-05 05:27 am (UTC)hums soft once she starts relaxing; an old, soft tune. )
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Date: 2020-09-05 05:39 am (UTC)It doesn't take long for Catra to fall fast asleep after that-- she's exhausted, and this might be the first time she's felt safe in months. ]
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Date: 2020-09-06 04:11 am (UTC)but she's asleep for now, so he keeps on petting her. pulls soft at any tangles he finds, keeps on humming that soft tune. )
no subject
Date: 2020-09-06 04:38 am (UTC)But, regardless of whether Jason is still there or not, some hours later her sleep becomes restless again and she sits bolt upright with a yelp, hackles raised, claws out, panting hard. Her eyes are a bit wild. Where--? ]
no subject
Date: 2020-09-06 05:25 pm (UTC)and when jason speaks, his voice is still light. a nice, even tone. )
Morning.
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