[ Catra holds his gaze with a hostile expression for a few more beats before she finally breaks and looks away. One hand goes up to her the back of her hair unconsciously, as if to smooth it down. ]
[ he doesn't back down in staring at her back—there's a resistance in his dark eyes, deliberate over the rim of his glasses. he keeps it hidden behind them, as if he's trying to mask his intensity. when it comes out, he doesn't stop it.
Catra breaks away and he tilts his head, giving it a shake as if he's letting go of the tension. ]
[ Catra waits for Ren to lead and then follows along behind him. Though perhaps "stalks" along behind him would be more accurate. There's an intensity to her gaze and her walk that never used to be there. It's unsettling enough that people instinctively move out of their way as they make their way through the city. She doesn't yield for anyone.
When they get there, Catra orders her food with a bark and gets it in a to go box. Even fresh food doesn't seem to be as appealing to her as it once was. She turns back to Ren with a frown once he has his food in hand too. ]
... I don't want to eat here. There's too many people.
[ Her tail does a short and aborted flick unconsciously behind her. ]
[ the differences are easy to see—gone is the wonder and playfulness to her bite. it's replaced with a sort of paranoia that may be the succession of her pain, or rather, what he feels may be her pain. he can't be entirely sure, only that she doesn't seem to see it that way.
Ren pays without a question, then makes a motion with her hand for her to follow. there's a park around the corner, and no one's really milling about at this hour. when he takes a seat on one of the benches, it's definitely more quiet. ]
[ Catra just holds her food in her hands, not eating it. She frowns. Silence drops between them.
It's easy to talk about those things in the heat of the moment. When she's angry, lashing out, wanting to hurt someone the way she's hurting.
It's hard to talk about it when the tension has left the air, when they're sitting on a park bench peacefully and holding food. Catra stares resolutely at the pita in her hands like it holds the answer to the mysteries of the universe. Finally-- ]
... I'm leading the Horde now, Fluffy. That means I'm the head of the military. I call all the shots. We're at war, and the Horde has never played fair. ... What do you think. You're a smart guy. Figure it out.
[ it is hard to talk this way, when Catra isn't riled up trying to push him away. he puts some bread in his mouth.
he gets it: why she needed to do that. Akechi did the same thing. he took up arms and rose up to meet Ren as a rival on an opposing side. to do that, Catra needed to meet Adora resource for resource. ]
Why are you looking at me like I know? Do I look like the kind of person who pays attention to every little coming and going of all the random people who end up here to you?
In their heads, they saw you just last month. But it's been a year since you've seen all of them. Maybe you're not even the same person. It's... weird. I don't like it.
even emerging out of his latest circumstances, he was a little jumbled. coming back here had been both disorienting and relieving. part of it had been because Akechi was with him. ]
[ he could answer that, but he doubts that she'd really like the answer. there are a million other things that mattered, but Ren's own drive to get stronger came from a different place. Maruki had told him it was the way that he reconciled his place in his own reality.
it seemed like Catra's walls became harder to break, and that was the part of her that got stronger. ]
You don't seem happy.
[ and Adora keeps coming up in his head, dragging herself to help others. ]
[ A younger Catra might have denied it. Yelled about how of course she's happy, leading the Horde. About how if she isn't happy, it's everyone else's fault.
But no. Catra knows enough now to be able to admit that she's not just unhappy-- she's miserable. That leading the Horde doesn't bring her happiness. That the extent of her anger and misery is at least partially etched onto her whole being, and denying it would only make her look stupid. The only problem of course is admitting it out loud to others. Looking weak and pitiful. So she takes a different tack. ]
... Tch. So what? Do I have to be happy all the time?
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2020-08-27 01:30 pm (UTC)It's the part I do get.
[ there's a curt shake of his head. ]
How about it?
no subject
Date: 2020-08-27 01:46 pm (UTC)... Fine. Whatever. But you're paying.
no subject
Date: 2020-08-28 01:57 am (UTC)Catra breaks away and he tilts his head, giving it a shake as if he's letting go of the tension. ]
Come on.
[ there's a pita place not far. ]
no subject
Date: 2020-08-28 02:28 am (UTC)When they get there, Catra orders her food with a bark and gets it in a to go box. Even fresh food doesn't seem to be as appealing to her as it once was. She turns back to Ren with a frown once he has his food in hand too. ]
... I don't want to eat here. There's too many people.
[ Her tail does a short and aborted flick unconsciously behind her. ]
no subject
Date: 2020-08-28 05:03 pm (UTC)Ren pays without a question, then makes a motion with her hand for her to follow. there's a park around the corner, and no one's really milling about at this hour. when he takes a seat on one of the benches, it's definitely more quiet. ]
Okay. What are your crimes?
[ he's tearing at a little bit of bread. ]
no subject
Date: 2020-08-30 02:45 am (UTC)It's easy to talk about those things in the heat of the moment. When she's angry, lashing out, wanting to hurt someone the way she's hurting.
It's hard to talk about it when the tension has left the air, when they're sitting on a park bench peacefully and holding food. Catra stares resolutely at the pita in her hands like it holds the answer to the mysteries of the universe. Finally-- ]
... I'm leading the Horde now, Fluffy. That means I'm the head of the military. I call all the shots. We're at war, and the Horde has never played fair. ... What do you think. You're a smart guy. Figure it out.
no subject
Date: 2020-09-01 10:35 pm (UTC)he gets it: why she needed to do that. Akechi did the same thing. he took up arms and rose up to meet Ren as a rival on an opposing side. to do that, Catra needed to meet Adora resource for resource. ]
You got there fast.
no subject
Date: 2020-09-03 04:12 pm (UTC)... It's been over a year, for me.
Besides. I was already practically running the show anyway. Before. It was easy enough once I figured out how.
no subject
Date: 2020-09-07 05:31 pm (UTC)[ it had been a year for him, well—sort of. another year for him? a year that was the same, with memories wedged in where they should be. ]
Did you come back recently?
no subject
Date: 2020-09-08 02:39 am (UTC)[ She doesn't seem to want to elaborate any further than that. ]
... You don't look any different, though. You still look... the same.
no subject
Date: 2020-09-08 02:51 am (UTC)[ he didn't know that looking different was a necessity!! also, well, he technically left and came back at the same time. ]
no subject
Date: 2020-09-08 04:23 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2020-09-08 04:06 pm (UTC)Is everyone usually gone for a year?
no subject
Date: 2020-09-08 04:15 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2020-09-10 12:24 am (UTC)Could just be coincidence.
[ that seems like the best way to deal with that. ]
It feels strange coming back. It was hardly two weeks since I've been gone.
no subject
Date: 2020-09-11 05:58 am (UTC)In their heads, they saw you just last month. But it's been a year since you've seen all of them. Maybe you're not even the same person. It's... weird. I don't like it.
no subject
Date: 2020-09-11 02:39 pm (UTC)even emerging out of his latest circumstances, he was a little jumbled. coming back here had been both disorienting and relieving. part of it had been because Akechi was with him. ]
You're definitely not the same Catra.
[ a small affirmation, maybe. ]
no subject
Date: 2020-09-12 04:08 am (UTC)[ She doesn't seem terribly happy about it, though. ]
no subject
Date: 2020-09-12 02:42 pm (UTC)[ because what he sees now is a sharp edge. ]
no subject
Date: 2020-09-12 02:53 pm (UTC)Every way.
[ What else??? Duh!! ]
no subject
Date: 2020-09-12 02:55 pm (UTC)[ there's a firmness to his voice as he takes another bite of bread. ]
It's avoiding the question.
no subject
Date: 2020-09-12 02:59 pm (UTC)What else matters?
no subject
Date: 2020-09-12 03:10 pm (UTC)it seemed like Catra's walls became harder to break, and that was the part of her that got stronger. ]
You don't seem happy.
[ and Adora keeps coming up in his head, dragging herself to help others. ]
no subject
Date: 2020-09-12 03:20 pm (UTC)But no. Catra knows enough now to be able to admit that she's not just unhappy-- she's miserable. That leading the Horde doesn't bring her happiness. That the extent of her anger and misery is at least partially etched onto her whole being, and denying it would only make her look stupid. The only problem of course is admitting it out loud to others. Looking weak and pitiful. So she takes a different tack. ]
... Tch. So what? Do I have to be happy all the time?
no subject
Date: 2020-09-13 12:14 am (UTC)It sounds like you got what you wanted, I thought you'd be happier.
(no subject)
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